Star Struck

I shook Sidney Poitier's hand last night…

That's right, he looked me right in the eye, said "Hello, Tom", and shook my hand. It was a firm handshake; the kind of handshake that means something – mano-a- mano.

Sidney Poitier…

That's right, I'm bragging

Little did I ever imagine, as a young lad in the sixties, going with my family to see "To Sir With Love", that I would one day look him in the eye and nod an awe-struck hello, and revel in a firm handshake from this larger-than-life figure…

Some would accuse me of being "Star Struck".

And to that I say, "Well, DUH!"

There are two extreme faces of celebrity that I have seen in my years spent in provincial show business, with numerous shades of these extremes varied in-between. In honor of being Totally Star-Struck in the aftermath of meeting Sidney Poitier (did I tell you that I shook his hand?) I'd like to discuss the two extreme faces of celebrity that I have had the opportunity to observe in my years tramping around Club Fugazi in San Francisco.

For full disclosure, I base my observations upon the attendance of the "subject celebrity" at a performance of Beach Blanket Babylon. Derived firstly of reports from trusted associates regarding the subject's attitude and displays of general merriment during the performance (since I am delegated to the rear of the house for performances and thus am unable to witness the merry-making, or lack thereof, first hand.) Secondly, I personally scrutinize the subject's behavior while bonding with the cast and crew backstage after the performance. This bonding is mostly with the cast, usually, and the degree to which the subject celebrity notices there is a crew makes an enormous difference in my overall conclusion of awe or awful. I can tell you that the first celebrity that goes backstage and asks, "Where's the soundman? I want to shake his hand!" will have my undying devotion… I'll buy all the albums, I'll go see all the movies, I'll forgive all the tawdry little escapades played out in public. But since this is unlikely to happen, I digress… Unless, of course, oh, let's say the Stones come to town and their soundman comes to the show and comes back to the booth (he'd never be asked backstage; after all) and says "The sound kicked ass dude", or some such appropriate one-sound-god-to-another bonding hype… However, why should I force my wild fantasies upon the reader when I come claiming anecdotal knowledge?

Thus are my two faces of celebrity:

Come backstage thoroughly drunk and corner the star as she's still strapped to the big hat and start to give notes. Be aggressive and finally force the crew to tell your spouse that you have to leave… But that's okay, come back and see us! And when you do, take your seat in Producer's Row. (Probably comped, but who cares, your filthy-stinking-rich anyway and you can afford it even if it isn't) Make sure you show just how much contempt you have for this sorry-ass small-time production by putting your feet up on the table before the show starts. (We'd like to ask why you bothered to come back at all, but well, you know, like… whatever.) Thanks for coming back; we won't bother you with another invitation to come backstage to meet the cast. Oh, and don't let the screen door hit you on the way out… And, ok, I suppose if you really tried hard you could actually act your way out of a paper bag.

Sharon Stone… Whoops! Did I say that?

On the other hand, you could arrive, be calmly and respectfully seated well before the front of house crew takes up position. Then you smile, laugh, and clap and maybe even "raise your arms up to the rafters of Club Fugazi" (though you are a little embarrassed about this, which is entirely appropriate). Next, go backstage and talk of the "talent and gift" of all involved. Considering your own towering gift, talent, and achievement, this statement of our humble little production exemplifies your generosity – You pull it up instead of pull it down. You shake hands with everyone and everyone is having a moment, we'd like to believe you are as well. We'd actually like it if you could stay a little longer but I suppose you really have better things to do…

Thanks for stopping by and showing us what a real class act is like.

I suppose it comes down to that… No class versus class.

It's more than that when you're star struck, I guess. . It's meeting the legend and not being disappointed, but being inspired…

Real class and grace actually do exist!

Have I mentioned yet that I shook Sidney Poitier's hand? I did!

We endure the Sharon Stones of the celebrity world; we delight in Sidney Poitier.

There is, of course, only one Sidney… The likes of Sharon are a dime a dozen. (Unless, of course, you've just hired her to act her way out of a paper bag…)

The two faces of celebrity, as I have known them.