I saw the headline and called Santa to find out what was up…

tds: Hi Santa, it’s Tom. Say, I just saw the headline about you asking for a government bailout. What gives Santa? How can that be?

Santa: Well,Tom, hello to you too! What - only organizations below the 60th parallel can run into financial trouble and ask for help? After all I’ve done? Where do you think all those goodies have come from this past millennium-and-a-half? It takes labor and materials my friend. Sheesh… I suppose you have a list you want me to go over with you?

tds: Gee Santa, I’m sorry. That was pretty thoughtless of me. I’m sorry to hear you’ve fallen on hard times. What a jerk I am. I’m unworthy!

Santa: Whoa there big fella. First, I’m impressed how you can make it all about you so darn fast. Second, I’m only joking son! You think we do business up here in the least bit like you “middle folks” do?

tds: “Middle folks”?

Santa: Look on a map.

tds: oh

Santa: Anyway, I haven’t lasted this long by doing business like you do.

tds: Like I do? I’m not the CEO of GM!

Santa: No, you certainly are not. By the way, how’s the credit card debt coming?

tds: Okay, okay. Better.

Santa: Better. That’s right. You are doing better. Man, twenty years ago you were a mess!!

tds: Well, yes, I suppose…

Santa: Uh, huh. But that was twenty years ago, so give yourself some credit…

tds: You’re right Santa!

Santa: …but not too much. You have enormous advantages simply handed to you. Even for others in your same tribe. It isn’t a birthright. You are tremendously lucky.

tds: Yes. Yes, Santa I am.

Santa: You take it too much for granted.

tds: You’re right, Santa, I…

Santa: Leave it there Tom. It isn’t just you. Too many of you simply look for reasons to be unhappy, or be mad at each other, or never know when enough is enough. It’s always baffled me a bit. But you also surprise me too. I hope you can change, like you’ve all been talking about all year long. You’ve set yourselves up. Now you need to follow through. I hope you can, all in all, keep doing better. If you don’t, I’ll really need that bailout - but no government will be able to help me. It’ll all be over.

tds: Don’t scare me Santa.

Santa: Well, that’s up to you. Now, is there something on your list you wanted to ask me about?

tds: Well… When it gets down to it. Could you help me keep trying to do better?

Santa: As long as you keep asking, Tom, yes I can.

tds: Thanks Santa. By the way, is Rudolf okay? I’m worried. I recently saw a picture with Sarah Palin, a high-powered rifle, and…

Santa: Photoshop Tom. But I still don’t like to talk about it.

tds: Understood. Merry Christmas Santa.

Santa: Merry Christmas Tom.

Witness the power of words to convey the substance of ideas, and the promise and hope of ideals. (Full text of the speech is below)

Go for Barack:

Yes We Can

Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
Chicago, Illinois

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.
It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.
It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he's fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the Vice President-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation's next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House. And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics - you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to - it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington - it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.

I know you didn't do this just to win an election and I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor's bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America - I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you - we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it's been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek - it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.
So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers - in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House - a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, "We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection." And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world - our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down - we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security - we support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright - tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.
For that is the true genius of America - that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing - Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons - because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.
And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America - the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.
At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves - if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.

Its final hours!!

In the meantime, Chastise Man offers the following tidbits from both Real America and Un-America:

Palin the Victim. The Media Elite from Un-America tramples all over Sarah Palin’s first amendment rights:

(Freedom of the press only applies to Fox News…)

Note to Un-America: It ain’t over ‘till its over…

Joe the Plumber goes AWOL!! (Do you suppose some McCain handler gets his head handed to him after the rally?) Let’s give Joe some slack. He’s probably busy studying for his plumbers license and paying his taxes.

And finally. McCain just couldn’t remember George Schultz’s name when rapping off his endorsements on Meet the Press last week. Chastise Man thinks he knows why. Schultz lives in Un-America. Chastise Man has seen George dressed up in a Superman costume and take the stage of a cabaret show in San Francisco. Heck, Chastise Man has been to George’s house (a high-rise penthouse in North Beach) in connection with said cabaret show, along with a cadre of theater-folk Un-Americans. Not only does Schultz live in Un-America, he associates with Un-Americans!! No wonder McCain couldn’t remember his name.

First, a look at geography:

Next a look at our federal government. What does a vice president do? (Sarah, here's a hint: breaks the tie, breaks the tie, breaks the tie…)

Misinforming 3^rd graders everywhere…

Finally, a friend sends this very informative equivalency chart to help us better understand the key players in The Real America as well as here in Un-America:

One thing I’ve learned from Sarah Palin, our whip-smart Republican vice-president candidate, is that I’ll be voting in a completely different America – Un-America.

Who knew? In fact, how do you know if you live in the Real America or, as do I, Un-America?

Palin lays it out fairly succinctly (unlike her position on an issue. Any issue, all the issues, whatever issue they put before her) – I live in a Big City in California. And not just any Big City in California, but San Francisco, which, I understand, means the Gates of Hell in Spanish. (Sometimes it is also interpreted as You unpatriotic son of a bitch).

As a rule, therefore, those of us living here in San Francisco are Godless, unpatriotic, leftist, liberal fornicators and sodomites. Not like the good stock of folks grown in those little pockets of Real America where the sun shines down on the goodness of the people and God whispers in everyone’s ear. Where talk of improving America is blasphemy because America does no wrong, and patriotism is knowing it and never questioning it. Where “elitism” and intellectual pursuit is shown for what it truly is: Un-American.

I was born in Real America, but immigrated to Un-America at an early age. So as we approach these coming elections (one in Real America and the other in Un-America) I thought I’d do some research about the land of my birth, the land I left as a youngster, the land of Joes (six-pack, plumber, etc.) and see what this Real America is all about.

For this first dispatch, lets see what Real Americans are thinking after attending a rally last week with Sarah Palin:

But wait… are we sure these folks are Real Americans?  – At least any more than my friends and neighbors here in Un-America?

It’s as if someone is trying to divide just plain old America. Hmmmm…..

“John McCain is not fit to be president”

Eddie Burke is a local Anchorage shock-jock wanna-be with a radio show mislabeled as “smart radio”. In reality Eddie Burke is apparently little more than a foul-mouthed, small-minded right-wingtip idiot. But I don’t want to sound biased. Let’s look at the evidence.

We begin with a small group of Alaskan women “talking over coffee” about the political goings-on in their state and nation. They decide to organize a rally– some might call them community organizers – to voice their rejection of McCain and his running mate, their governor, Sarah Palin.

They print flyers and alert the media. KBYR Radio in Anchorage is one of those media outlets, home of Eddie Burke.

When Eddie Burke finds out about the rally, he announces it on his little radio show, calling its organizers and those who would attend

…a bunch of socialist baby-killing maggots”

Such intelligent and insightful discourse gives us evidence that Eddie Burke has no class.

He then gives out the names and phone numbers of the rally organizers, urging his cadre of desperate listeners to call them up and tell them what they think; which, oddly enough, is what Eddie Burke thinks. (And that is truly a Bridge to Nowhere – Eddie Burke telling you what to think.)

Of course, people do call and leave messages full of vehement hatred, but the women are undaunted.

As it turns out, an estimated 1500 people show up, the biggest rally in the history of the state (bigger than the one for Palin’s “triumphant” return to Alaska after her “lipstick on a pitbull” (or whatever) speech that the media breathlessly – and stupidly – covered.

O-Bah-Mah

Obviously not anticipating the level of disgust the McPalin ticket brings to many Alaskans, Eddie Burke and his crowd show up about 20–strong. Go get ‘em tiger. And so Eddie Burke does. But when trying to address the media, he is surrounded by Obama supporters chanting “O-Bah-Mah, O-Bah-Mah, O-Bah-Mah”

Kind of like “Drill – baby – drill” only smarter.

Little Eddie Burke (he’s actually not that little) and his tiny band of Palin supporters (or perhaps those who just know a “socialist” when they see one – they looked it up on wikipedia) are drowned out by the vein of emotion tapped at the rally, an Alaskan source of energy that this country truly needs. Providing evidence that Eddie Burke really is as dumb as he sounds on the radio.

So is Eddie Burke Sarah Palin’s kind of guy?

—————————

McCain on Palin’s Foreign Policy

• McCain said Palin has foreign policy experience because Alaska is close to Russia. This wasn’t something I read on a blog or heard on Fox News. I saw McCain hold a microphone in that awkward way he does (another story for another time) and heard those words part from his lips.

McCain on Palin’s Energy Policy and Experience

• “Sara Palin knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the country” – John McCain.
  Oh really?

  Take that scientists, technicians, entrepreneurs, business owners, speculators, bloggers, writers, anybody who’s read a book about energy or entropy, or anything remotely scientific… Oh, and lest we forget, all ya’ all at the Department of Energy. Sarah Palin knows more about energy than any of you. Combined. So when she said that Alaska provides 20% of the country’s domestic supply of oil and gas, she didn’t mean it. She knows that it isn’t even half that. So just never mind. She knows a lot about energy. Okay? Enough with your pesky questions.

—————————

Chastise Man leaves you with his favorite mantra:

We Get the Leaders We Deserve”

Our “American Hats”

John McCain asked his fellow Republicans to “take off their Republican hats and put on their American hats” while calling for a postponement to the start of the Republican convention, set to begin tomorrow in St. Paul, due to hurricane Gustav.

Senator McCain should perhaps be asking the FBI, Minneapolis police, and the Ramsey County Sheriff to take off their police thug hats and stop harassing and detaining American citizens.

A friend, who lives in Minneapolis, alerted me to a series of raids carried out over the weekend by Ramsey county sheriff SWAT team with the assistance of FBI agents.

At least four homes were entered, computers, personal journals, and political pamphlets seized while occupants were handcuffed and forced to lay on the floor. Repeated demands to see a search warrant were apparently ignored until the heavily armed officers left.

Dozens of people were also handcuffed, photographed, and detained at a public venue and meeting place for an organization called the “Republican Welcoming Committee” for “fire code violations”.

There were no reported illegal acts nor has there been any evidence proffered by any source that I could find of any conspiracy to commit any illegal acts.

It appears nothing more than an abridgment of the constitutional rights of left-wing dissidents intent on carrying out their once-guaranteed freedom of speech and assembly.

Where is the Outrage?

Any American should be concerned when they see such tactics used, but little is being reported on this, save for the links below.

We all hope for the safety of those in Gustav’s path, but there is perhaps an even larger storm brewing in this country, one that has been gaining strength for some time. And it is one for which we must not evacuate but meet head-on.

George Bush and Dick Cheney have done much to eviscerate American principals, and too many have gone along for too long, either through agreement, ignorance, or apathy.

We are left with a police state in Minneapolis on the eve of the nominating convention of the party that has given us eight years of national tragedy. What’s next?

We’re losing America and too few seem to care.

—————————————————————

http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2008/08/30/police_raids/index.html

http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2008/08/31/raids/index.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/30/us/politics/30arrests.html?_r=5&adxnnl=1&oref=login&adxnnlx=1220227363-HMM8kJ4X/w6BmkQQfgYDeA

http://www.minnesotaindependent.com/6158/breaking-food-not-bombs-house-among-saturday-raids

The analysis was conducted by the True Bible Society and will be published next month in the End Times Journal. McCain may be trying to throw us off his trail, it is said, by subtly implying that Barrack Obama is the Antichrist by calling him “The One”.

My gut reaction to all this is:

“Oh, Dear Christ! Haven’t we been through enough already? You mean to tell me that both candidates for president after George Bush might be the Antichrist?!!?”

Perhaps they’ve got a co-Antichrist thing going on. But I doubt it. Because we all know who the Antichrist is, don’t we?

Dick Cheney 

Besides, even if the position weren’t already filled, do we really think that John McCain is the best they could muster down there in hell to represent evil incarnate?

For evidence I offer this John McCain montage:

On the other hand, a bumbling idiot can really do a lot of damage…. Hmmm….