Support David Letterman’s right to make bad jokes!
Thread? What thread?
When Sarah Palin used the media last week to express her “outrage” at jokes David Letterman made about her recent visit to New York, including what may have indeed been slightly tasteless references to her daughters, I became curious about this “thread permeating society” that “makes it okay” to make fun of “statutory rape” of underage girls, thinking it is “funny”.
Now, I looked high and low for this thread to which she refers, and I’ll be damned (some think I already am) if all I could find was another thread that thinks it’s okay to make broad, unsubstantiated claims to cynically manipulate the media in an effort to stir up support from people barely able to think for themselves. To wit: “good ol’” Sarah Palin, stirin’ up her base.
Following are some comments made by people that came out for a “Fire Dave” rally in New York. Reports are that more press showed up than protesters. Nonetheless, these stalwarts were vocal in their thoughts. I quote some highlights with my reaction:
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Everyone in the country is very, very frustrated and upset that he was allowed to make a rape joke about a little girl, fourteen years old, sitting on the sidelines watching of all things an American basketball game”
- Okay, I’m not a sports fan, so let me see if I have this right: basketball is where they use a wooden stick to hit a ball thrown at them at about a hundred miles an hour. If they hit the ball, they get to run around in a big circle, ending up right where they began. And what’s baseball again? By the way, did you actually hear this “rape joke” that Letterman told, or did you just hear about it from Sarah Palin?
Ma’am, I’ve got one word of advice: research.
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He made A-rod a pervert too…”
- Everybody knows that A-rod is just a horn-dog.
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I think he stinks, I’m a Jay Leno fan”
- Fair enough, sorry Jay.
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At least Jay Leno has interesting people, this Schmuck has nobody… Do you know what schmuck means in Jewish?”
- Do tell. (And you’re right, Leno did get president Obama on his show. That’s who you meant isn’t it?
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I only watch Fox news channel”
- Now that’s just plain stupid
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…I believe his son was born out of wedlock, I believe there’s a term for that”<'blockquote>
- Does that go for Sarah Palin’s grandson as well?
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…especially, you know, when he had a daughter out of wedlock as well”
- What? Who? Lady, do you even read?
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…when he has a bastard son and a slut for a wife”
- Now I’m really confused, are we talking about Letterman or making jokes about Palin’s almost son-in-law?
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You think you’re so smart, you think you know soooo much”
- Well, I didn’t until I saw you.
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Close the borders. Close everything down for the next twenty years. Clean your house and you’ll see how this economy will come back.”
- Excuse me ma’am, the right wing-nut rally you’re looking for is a few blocks over.
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Keep children safe from David Letterman’s mouth! He will rape them with his mouth! He is a child abuser, he is a verbal pedophile! Wake up! Go home and take care of your kids! They could be next.”
- Lady, you’re just freakin’ scary. You have kids? Talk about abuse.
The Sarah Palin Pledge:
I, Chastise Man, do hereby swear that if Sarah Palin ever sets foot in the White House in any official capacity other than governor of Alaska, if she should ever be any closer in line to the presidency than what an entire disappearance of the president, vice-president, cabinet, and both houses of Congress would require to manifest, then I will leave the country immediately and move to France.
Filed under Chastise Man, Humorous, News, People, Politics, Things That Make Me Cranky, Video by 
On Religious Extremism and Being Agnostic
I do not deny the existence of an intelligent designer – God – a presence and influence evident with every breath we take.
Extremism (fundamentalism) demands of it an assuredness of belief that bestows the right of divine vengeance on others. That is where I draw the line.
That we should endeavor to speak for, or imagine to know the thoughts of such a presence, is original sin all over again. Imbuing oneself with authority to dispense divine retribution is The Downfall reign supreme.
I don’t know, mind you, I’m agnostic after all, but I would guess that if Hell does exist, the quickest route there is to condemn others to it.
It is disturbing to get anywhere near such minds, charred as they are with ignorance, hatred, and unwavering conviction of their atrophied humanity. But it is instructive and necessary to look, if for no other reason than to understand the level of dysfunction in the human psyche, to recognize it when it creeps into the backwoods of our own mind, and to encourage the fortitude to resist it when it does.
—-
To the Extremist:
God didn’t send the shooter; The murder of Dr. Tiller was not the will of God; God doesn’t hate “fags”; You aren’t an infidel if you don’t believe as I believe (though perhaps not that bright); Democrats can be Christians (or any damn religion they choose – so can Republicans for that matter); And “praying” that Barack Obama will die (and professing such action in public media) is little more than cowardly and criminal.
You are no closer to God than any of these people, to me, or to anyone else. I’ll see you in hell.
Of that I can be sure.
This guy is a messenger from God?
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It is the ostentatious display of emotion, the inauthentic tear, the feigned choke on one’s own immense capacity for empathy and compassion.
To me, this is the true sign of a fraud and a fake. Prove me wrong.
Filed under News, People, Things That Make Me Cranky by
January 19, 2009 – Near the National Mall, Washington DC
By Monday mid-afternoon, Washington was simply giddy with excitement. This happy couple reflects the general mood of the day.
Technorati Tags:
obama inauguration, washington , patriotism
Filed under Barack Obama, Chastise Man, Inauguration, People by
Today we’ll have some educational material to help us understand our two countries:
First, a look at geography:
Next a look at our federal government. What does a vice president do? (Sarah, here’s a hint: breaks the tie, breaks the tie, breaks the tie…)
Misinforming 3rd graders everywhere…
Finally, a friend sends this very informative equivalency chart to help us better understand the key players in The Real America as well as here in Un-America:
Filed under Barack Obama, Humorous, John McCain, People, Politics, Presidential Election 2008 by
Earlier this week, most pundits and talking heads announced that we are now officially in the “home stretch” of the 2008 presidential election in America. I can’t wait to cast my ballot.
One thing I’ve learned from Sarah Palin, our whip-smart Republican vice-president candidate, is that I’ll be voting in a completely different America – Un-America.
Who knew? In fact, how do you know if you live in the Real America or, as do I, Un-America?
Palin lays it out fairly succinctly (unlike her position on an issue. Any issue, all the issues, whatever issue they put before her) – I live in a Big City in California. And not just any Big City in California, but San Francisco, which, I understand, means the Gates of Hell in Spanish. (Sometimes it is also interpreted as You unpatriotic son of a bitch).
As a rule, therefore, those of us living here in San Francisco are Godless, unpatriotic, leftist, liberal fornicators and sodomites. Not like the good stock of folks grown in those little pockets of Real America where the sun shines down on the goodness of the people and God whispers in everyone’s ear. Where talk of improving America is blasphemy because America does no wrong, and patriotism is knowing it and never questioning it. Where “elitism” and intellectual pursuit is shown for what it truly is: Un-American.
I was born in Real America, but immigrated to Un-America at an early age. So as we approach these coming elections (one in Real America and the other in Un-America) I thought I’d do some research about the land of my birth, the land I left as a youngster, the land of Joes (six-pack, plumber, etc.) and see what this Real America is all about.
For this first dispatch, lets see what Real Americans are thinking after attending a rally last week with Sarah Palin:
But wait… are we sure these folks are Real Americans? – At least any more than my friends and neighbors here in Un-America?
It’s as if someone is trying to divide just plain old America. Hmmmm…..
Filed under Barack Obama, Chastise Man, John McCain, People, Politics, Presidential Election 2008 by
Reports recently show “startling evidence” that Republican presidential candidate John McCain is the Antichrist, according to “biblical scholars”.
The analysis was conducted by the True Bible Society and will be published next month in the End Times Journal. McCain may be trying to throw us off his trail, it is said, by subtly implying that Barrack Obama is the Antichrist by calling him “The One”.
My gut reaction to all this is:
“Oh, Dear Christ! Haven’t we been through enough already? You mean to tell me that both candidates for president after George Bush might be the Antichrist?!!?”
Perhaps they’ve got a co-Antichrist thing going on. But I doubt it. Because we all know who the Antichrist is, don’t we?
Dick Cheney
Besides, even if the position weren’t already filled, do we really think that John McCain is the best they could muster down there in hell to represent evil incarnate?
For evidence I offer this John McCain montage:
On the other hand, a bumbling idiot can really do a lot of damage…. Hmmm….
Filed under Chastise Man, Humorous, John McCain, News, People, Politics, Presidential Election 2008, Religion by
Hmmm…. Seems like the typical crew I see when I walk down Polk St.
At least they’re voting (except for the one who doesn’t want to get blamed for anything).
-Have a Nice Day!
Filed under Barack Obama, Chastise Man, Comic Relief, Fun Stuff, Humorous, John McCain, People, Politics, Presidential Election 2008, Ron Paul, Video by
Understanding that the intricacies of modern sound systems and complex audio signal flow are truly known to only a “select few” (the few, the proud…), I offer the following advice:
Before one cuts one’s own off by expressing, on-camera and on-mic, the wish to do the same to another, please consider this -
When you have a microphone strapped to your chest, there can be no expectation of privacy!!!
A microphone is NEVER really “off” (well, there are some exceptions, if it’s a condenser mic it does require 48V of phantom power, but lest I geek out while making my point, I shan’t digress further).
Whispering doesn’t help. THERE’S A MIC STRAPPED TO YOUR CHEST!!!
Claiming your crude comments were “highly private” is ludicrous. THERE’S A MIC STRAPPED TO YOUR CHEST!!!
Like, Duh.
Sheesh.
Thank you, and as always –
Have a Nice Day
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It is always the court jester that can speak truth to power – and to the masses:
“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.”
“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.“
“If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.”
“Just ‘cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”
“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
“Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.”
———
“I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.”
Not this time George.
Thanks for giving us something to think about and a good laugh, even – and especially – when we realized we were laughing at ourselves.
We all just lost a little bit of our collective grip on reality. You’ll be missed.
George Carlin – 1937–2008
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