But wait, didn’t she just… I… I’m so confused.

I guess I know what it feels like to be Sarah Palin. Help me God.

A confused Sarah Palin explains her resignation as governor of Alaska, to which we can only say – huh?

Threat from Palin’s attorneys that they will sue any mainstream media outlet publishing stories about whether Palin is under federal investigation – all of which are laid out here in a four page letter…

You can see other captions to this photo or make your own.

Thread? What thread?

When Sarah Palin used the media last week to express her “outrage” at jokes David Letterman made about her recent visit to New York, including what may have indeed been slightly tasteless references to her daughters, I became curious about this “thread permeating society” that “makes it okay” to make fun of “statutory rape” of underage girls, thinking it is “funny”.

Now, I looked high and low for this thread to which she refers, and I’ll be damned (some think I already am) if all I could find was another thread that thinks it’s okay to make broad, unsubstantiated claims to cynically manipulate the media in an effort to stir up support from people barely able to think for themselves. To wit: “good ol’” Sarah Palin, stirin’ up her base.

Following are some comments made by people that came out for a “Fire Dave” rally in New York. Reports are that more press showed up than protesters. Nonetheless, these stalwarts were vocal in their thoughts. I quote some highlights with my reaction:

• Everyone in the country is very, very frustrated and upset that he was allowed to make a rape joke about a little girl, fourteen years old, sitting on the sidelines watching of all things an American basketball game”

  - Okay, I’m not a sports fan, so let me see if I have this right: basketball is where they use a wooden stick to hit a ball thrown at them at about a hundred miles an hour. If they hit the ball, they get to run around in a big circle, ending up right where they began. And what’s baseball again? By the way, did you actually hear this “rape joke” that Letterman told, or did you just hear about it from Sarah Palin?
  Ma’am, I’ve got one word of advice: research.

• He made A-rod a pervert too…”

  - Everybody knows that A-rod is just a horn-dog.

• I think he stinks, I’m a Jay Leno fan”

  - Fair enough, sorry Jay.

• At least Jay Leno has interesting people, this Schmuck has nobody… Do you know what schmuck means in Jewish?”

  - Do tell. (And you’re right, Leno did get president Obama on his show. That’s who you meant isn’t it?

• I only watch Fox news channel”

  - Now that’s just plain stupid

• …I believe his son was born out of wedlock, I believe there’s a term for that”<'blockquote>
  - Does that go for Sarah Palin’s grandson as well?

• …especially, you know, when he had a daughter out of wedlock as well”

  - What? Who? Lady, do you even read?

• …when he has a bastard son and a slut for a wife”

  - Now I’m really confused, are we talking about Letterman or making jokes about Palin’s almost son-in-law?

• You think you’re so smart, you think you know soooo much”

  - Well, I didn’t until I saw you.

• Close the borders. Close everything down for the next twenty years. Clean your house and you’ll see how this economy will come back.”

  - Excuse me ma’am, the right wing-nut rally you’re looking for is a few blocks over.

• Keep children safe from David Letterman’s mouth! He will rape them with his mouth! He is a child abuser, he is a verbal pedophile! Wake up! Go home and take care of your kids! They could be next.”

  - Lady, you’re just freakin’ scary. You have kids? Talk about abuse.

The Sarah Palin Pledge:
I, Chastise Man, do hereby swear that if Sarah Palin ever sets foot in the White House in any official capacity other than governor of Alaska, if she should ever be any closer in line to the presidency than what an entire disappearance of the president, vice-president, cabinet, and both houses of Congress would require to manifest, then I will leave the country immediately and move to France.