Another Conversation with Santa Claus

Santa Claus Requests Government Bailout Worth Billions!!

I saw the headline and called Santa to find out what was up…

tds: Hi Santa, it’s Tom. Say, I just saw the headline about you asking for a government bailout. What gives Santa? How can that be?

Santa: Well,Tom, hello to you too! What – only organizations below the 60th parallel can run into financial trouble and ask for help? After all I’ve done? Where do you think all those goodies have come from this past millennium-and-a-half? It takes labor and materials my friend. Sheesh… I suppose you have a list you want me to go over with you?

tds: Gee Santa, I’m sorry. That was pretty thoughtless of me. I’m sorry to hear you’ve fallen on hard times. What a jerk I am. I’m unworthy!

Santa: Whoa there big fella. First, I’m impressed how you can make it all about you so darn fast. Second, I’m only joking son! You think we do business up here in the least bit like you “middle folks” do?

tds: “Middle folks”?

Santa: Look on a map.

tds: oh

Santa: Anyway, I haven’t lasted this long by doing business like you do.

tds: Like I do? I’m not the CEO of GM!

Santa: No, you certainly are not. By the way, how’s the credit card debt coming?

tds: Okay, okay. Better.

Santa: Better. That’s right. You are doing better. Man, twenty years ago you were a mess!!

tds: Well, yes, I suppose…

Santa: Uh, huh. But that was twenty years ago, so give yourself some credit…

tds: You’re right Santa!

Santa: …but not too much. You have enormous advantages simply handed to you. Even for others in your same tribe. It isn’t a birthright. You are tremendously lucky.

tds: Yes. Yes, Santa I am.

Santa: You take it too much for granted.

tds: You’re right, Santa, I…

Santa: Leave it there Tom. It isn’t just you. Too many of you simply look for reasons to be unhappy, or be mad at each other, or never know when enough is enough. It’s always baffled me a bit. But you also surprise me too. I hope you can change, like you’ve all been talking about all year long. You’ve set yourselves up. Now you need to follow through. I hope you can, all in all, keep doing better. If you don’t, I’ll really need that bailout – but no government will be able to help me. It’ll all be over.

tds: Don’t scare me Santa.

Santa: Well, that’s up to you. Now, is there something on your list you wanted to ask me about?

tds: Well… When it gets down to it. Could you help me keep trying to do better?

Santa: As long as you keep asking, Tom, yes I can.

tds: Thanks Santa. By the way, is Rudolf okay? I’m worried. I recently saw a picture with Sarah Palin, a high-powered rifle, and…

Santa: Photoshop Tom. But I still don’t like to talk about it.

tds: Understood. Merry Christmas Santa.

Santa: Merry Christmas Tom.