Earlier this week, most pundits and talking heads announced that we are now officially in the “home stretch” of the 2008 presidential election in America. I can’t wait to cast my ballot.

One thing I’ve learned from Sarah Palin, our whip-smart Republican vice-president candidate, is that I’ll be voting in a completely different America – Un-America.

Who knew? In fact, how do you know if you live in the Real America or, as do I, Un-America?

Palin lays it out fairly succinctly (unlike her position on an issue. Any issue, all the issues, whatever issue they put before her) – I live in a Big City in California. And not just any Big City in California, but San Francisco, which, I understand, means the Gates of Hell in Spanish. (Sometimes it is also interpreted as You unpatriotic son of a bitch).

As a rule, therefore, those of us living here in San Francisco are Godless, unpatriotic, leftist, liberal fornicators and sodomites. Not like the good stock of folks grown in those little pockets of Real America where the sun shines down on the goodness of the people and God whispers in everyone’s ear. Where talk of improving America is blasphemy because America does no wrong, and patriotism is knowing it and never questioning it. Where “elitism” and intellectual pursuit is shown for what it truly is: Un-American.

I was born in Real America, but immigrated to Un-America at an early age. So as we approach these coming elections (one in Real America and the other in Un-America) I thought I’d do some research about the land of my birth, the land I left as a youngster, the land of Joes (six-pack, plumber, etc.) and see what this Real America is all about.

For this first dispatch, lets see what Real Americans are thinking after attending a rally last week with Sarah Palin:

But wait… are we sure these folks are Real Americans?  – At least any more than my friends and neighbors here in Un-America?

It’s as if someone is trying to divide just plain old America. Hmmmm…..