The Styrofoam Cathedral

Most reading this know that I was employed by Grace Cathedral as a sound engineer from April of 2001 to the spring of 2005. For part of that time I was considered their "chief" engineer.

For the most part, I enjoyed my work at the Cathedral and was happy to play a role in the Cathedral’s mission. I particularly liked Dean Alan Jones’ outlook and enjoyed listening to his sermons (for which, I suppose one could say, I was paid to do). I still remember the Christmas season of ’04 when I was preparing for some Christamssy kind of service on a Monday night (I think it involved the Mayor lighting a tree or some such nonsense); I was fiddling with something and the Dean’s voice came from behind: Tom, please don’t leave us!

As honored as I was by the Dean’s plea, I left anyway. All my urging to upgrade a 30+ old sound system had been ignored by my then boss who told me that the equipment status was "replace on failure only". Imagine if, say, an airline took such an attitude to equipment maintenance and upgrade.

In any case, I knew that it was only a matter of time before I’d be left holding the bag of a disintegrating sound system that was installed the year I graduated from high school. I felt that such a grand Cathedral deserved better. Since that time I have remained "on the grapevine" as it were with several independent sources of information of the goings-on at Grace.

Since my departure (and the departure of my former boss) the wireless microphone system has been upgraded, the mixing console has been replaced (of which I helped the Cathedral financially, if I may know be so immodest as to shed my anonymity in that regard), and I have now learned that there are finally plans to replace the ancient amplifiers, equalizers, crossovers, and speakers.
Apparently this past Easter’s services didn’t go so well due to the sound system, and the project is now on a fast track. Such is the consequence of a "replace on failure only" policy.

But here’s the rub. I’ve heard from independent sources the following:

1. The project is now in committee with recommendations from inexperienced technicians or completely non-technical board members as to the kind of system that should be installed
2. There has been a recommendation to alter the acoustics of the Cathedral by using styrofoam on the ceiling (which, by the way, is seven stories up in any case)

Oh my friggin’ God. First of all, to alter the acoustics in any way is, to my mind, an abomination, a sin, and an affront to all that is holy. Let the Cathedral sing!!
That magnificent space is its own sound system and our meager efforts at electronic sound reinforcement is primarily only to enhance speech intelligibility and to a small degree help get the sound of the choir out "into the house" a bit, to help the cathedral and not to overpower it. To attempt any more is a fool’s errand.

The proposal now seems to be to deaden the acoustics and put some sort of rock n’ roll line array speaker system (the kind anyone has seen who has been to a rock or pop show within the past ten years) that would splay sound all over those granite walls, destroy speech intelligibility, and compromise – nay ruin – the acoustic integrity of the Cathedral.

It is apparent that idiots, knaves, and boobs are now in charge of the project. Sound design by committee. And by a committee comprised, apparently, of folks that have never pushed up a fader in their lives, let alone done so in a cathedral. They haven’t a clue as to what they are doing, and I fear that they will irreparably damage the the space for years to come while wasting the good people’s money in the process

Needless to say, this is a job for Chastise Man and I have expressed my concerns (in a much more polite tone, of course) to Mark Stanger, my inside connection to the heights of canonical power within the church hierarchy.

If you care about proper sound and preserving acoustic spaces – I mean STYROFOAM for the love of God – then send an email to Grace Cathedral. And let ‘em know Chastise Man sent you.

grace cathedral sound sound engineering acoustics cathedral sound